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Writer's Block: Go it alone

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?


The holidays are the worst time to be single because every. single. family member will ask wether I've got a boyfriend yet. ARGH. The rest of the year, it's mostly just my parents bugging me about it. At least other people don't do that.

But everyone puts a lot of pressure on me to have children. Every time I tell someone I'm childfree, all they have to say to me is "You'll change your mind" and "It's selfish to not want children!"

Which, what? What if I told you "you'll change your mind" after every statement you make? Wouldn't you find that very patronizing? Of course there's always a minuscule possibility I will change my mind, but it's definitely not a certainty! I don't tell vegetarians that they'll change their minds. I don't tell gay people that they'll change their minds. How is this different?

And on the selfishness, hello? Overpopulation, anyone? Besides, I don't want to see copies of myself running around. I can barely handle one of me!

And what if my kid is not the next Einstein, but the next Hitler? I don't want to be responsible for that!

"But they love you unconditionally!" First of all, I have my rats for that. Second of all, no they don't! I've hated my mom for a long time, and even now I can only stand her in controlled doses. Unconditional love kind of goes away when you don't get it back. Also, what was that about selfishness?

Let me make two things clear, though. First, I don't like kids, but that doesn't mean I hate them or want to see them harmed. NO. I'm just as outraged about child abuse as anyone else. I just don't like having screeching kids around me. That's ALL.
Second, I don't have anything against parents. Have all the kids you want, just don't expect me to fawn over them. And please, try your best to raise them up to be responsible adults.

I do have something against "breeders" who keep popping out kids and then expect the rest of society to let Junior break every single thing he gets his grubby hands on without comment because "OMG he's just a bayyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I don't want you to hit your kids, just tell them it's wrong and give them a time-out or something. Be a responsible parent.

I hope I haven't insulted anyone with my ranting. That was definitely not my intention. I just wanted to make my position a little more clear.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
x_mooshy_x
Dec. 9th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
(I hope you don't mind a random person commenting, but I read this and wow!)

You took the words right out of my mouth! I agree with you 100%. I see just way too many people who have kids, who don't discipline them whatsoever. They actually DO say "OMG she's just a bayyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!", so the kid is running around stealing food off of people's plates, hitting the animals, breaking things and throwing full blown tantrums at the drop of a hat. It really makes me fear what kind of person they will turn into. So, like you said.. people can have all the kids they want, but they should be responsible about it.
utterbasketcase
Dec. 9th, 2009 07:49 pm (UTC)
Of course I don't mind! :)

I'm glad you agree with me. I was expecting a lot of negative backlash, because that's what I usually get when I say things like this. But yay! Someone agrees! :)
x_mooshy_x
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:53 pm (UTC)
Haha, indeed I do! :) To be perfectly honest, I think the only people who wouldn't agree to a statement about how some people need to learn how to discipline their kids... are parents who don't discipline theirs.
utterbasketcase
Dec. 11th, 2009 12:21 pm (UTC)
Heh, true. :)

Although some people react to my childfree status as though I've personally insulted them and their right to bear children. Which, what? o.0
x_mooshy_x
Dec. 11th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
Haha, I know! I've gotten the same reaction before. When I say I'm not sure I even want children, most people either a)look at me as if I grew an extra head, b)look at me as if I personally insulted their mother, or c)smile sadly because obviously I will have a lonely, miserable life without kids. But seriously, if I had a nickel for every time my friends with kids have asked me "So when are you two having one?" I'd probably have the down payment for my mortgage.
utterbasketcase
Dec. 11th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
Yep! I have one of those friends too. And those conversations lead straight to the "You'll change your mind", complete with sad head shake and patronizing smile. And no matter how many times I tell her I don't want kids, she keeps bringing it up. ARGH.
ollytheshite1
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
having a child is selfish. you are right about the overpopulation. i don't understand how it could be seen otherwise.
utterbasketcase
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Well, you do have to give up a large chunk of your life and your privacy for a kid. *shrugs* I do think it would be a lot less selfish to just adopt one of the thousands of orphans out there, though.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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utterbasketcase
the best of us can find happiness in misery

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