Dude, there's two options:
1. You don't tell me you have a girlfriend
2. You tell me you have a girlfriend, and you tell me who she is.
'Cause if you don't tell me who it is, the little voice in my head goes "Maybe he's not telling because he's decided he's in love with you and he wants to surprise you when therapy starts again!", and then I have to bang my head on my desk repeatedly until the voice goes away.
So I can understand this is a fun game for you, but just put me out of my misery, okay? Shut that idiotic little voice up once and for all. KTHXBAI!
*Le sigh*
Love,
Basket Case
PS: Dramatized version.