the best of us can find happiness in misery (utterbasketcase) wrote,
the best of us can find happiness in misery
utterbasketcase

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Wishing to be the friction in your jeans

Ugh, how do I always get myself into these things?

So, an old classmate of mine, let's call him Randy, decided to start a conversation with me on MSN, after about, oh, a year of silence. All good and well, except he only talks to me when he's horny.

I've no idea why, because before today, I never went along with it.

But yeah, I was bored and I wanted some entertainment, so I decided to tease a little.

And suddenly, I find myself in the middle of a cyber sex fantasy that is heating up fast. At which point I proceeded to freak out. I mean, what? How? What? Ugh.

I think I got myself out of it quite gracefully, but now he wants me to call him to arrange a date to have a one night stand. What? How? What?

Being me, of course, I couldn't come right out and say "hell no!", so I just sort of agreed. Stupid brain.

So what do I do now? I can't call him, because, well, I don't want to, and I can't not talk to him anymore, because rejection = ouch! And I don't want to hurt people. Which is how I into this mess in the first place.

Why? Why can't I just tell people I'm not interested? Why do I always avoid the issue when it comes up and just let it grow into these huge proportions? WHY? Why must I fucking suck?

I am such a lousy person. *Sigh*

Love,
Basket Case
Tags: depression
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