Hi everybody. I remember some English class that focused on how to start your writings and I more distinctly remember that I was never too keen on that bit. Plus I have a near infamous penchant for being long-winded. So here I am at a loss for how to jump in and say what I'm thinking. I guess one must really start at the top.
I love the people around me. I do. I'm a space cadet and sometimes I don't say it enough or in the right way but I desperately love the people I surround myself with which extends not just to my friends and family, or people that come to our shows and such, but to other bands. To other musicians with whom I share the common bond of "Hey, I dropped out of/didn't go to college so I could be in some silly band that was likely going to put me in crazy debt and get me dumped by every girlfriend I've ever had..." It's a common language, the way we all start in tiny rooms playing to next to no one (sometimes no one). Or playing to only the other band we're on tour with (I'm looking at you Spitalfield/Fall Out Boy tour 2002). It is because of this common bond that I share with everyone in music that I have to say it's been a bad couple months.
First we were hit with the news of the passing of Donda West whom I never met. Obviously Kanye is a friend of the band's but I don't even know him that well. I do however know him well enough to know he loves his mother dearly. As dearly as anyone's ever loved their mother. And so it was with the weight of that knowledge that her passing hit me hard. Not to mention the shock of her young age. I called my mom that night. I'd advise anyone reading this to do the same.
Next came the truly horrible news of a tragedy I will keep quiet that happened on my own tour. I will respect the effected family by keeping the details private but it hurt some of my closest friends and near brothers profoundly. In turn I am near tears as I write this thinking about precisely what happened.
And now Casey. You know, to be frank I didn't know Casey very well. I have far reaching memories of him in the early days when we played a comic book shop together. We talked hardcore and laughed about Kiss makeup. Then on that tour we did together I remember him being simply genuine, always pleasant, always kind. Now, I'm sure no one needs another arrogant rock star prattling on about how the world done him wrong and all, but I'm pissed that Casey's not here anymore. I'm pissed because I think I took him for granted a little. Pissed at myself. Cause every band we've had the luxury of touring with I'd say with maybe one or two exceptions, are all people I've really liked and if you don't ever tell those people it can be too late.
It's the same way I felt when the late John Holohan passed away. It's horrible. I remember the phone call. I remember calling Jack to ask if it were true and I needn't have on account of his voice. We were at a photo shoot and every time I see one of those photos and have to autograph it or some such blasphemous thing I feel horrible just thinking about the sound in Jack's voice.
Then last night another friend of mine came to me with the news that his father had had a stroke. I did not press to learn if he is expected to make it. That was really irrelevant to how I should feel...my friend was in obviously pain and that was all I needed to know.
Anyway, I'm still rambling. This is why I've never had any kind of blog...I'd never have time to write what I was thinking and I wasn't gifted with conciseness. I guess I'm just trying to say that all the people I've talked about will be horribly missed. And that I want to let everyone know, even the people that hate my band and say mean things every time someone leaks some ridiculously fake scandal and slaps my best friend's name on it, we are all doing this little thing called music. That makes us family, however dysfunctional. Don't take your friends for granted and hug your loved ones every chance you get.
I hope you all know that I do love you guys. I may complain and rant about some of you sometimes, but that mostly shows that I care. Don't die on me yet, mmkay? ♥